Monday, February 05, 2007

where i am today

Today I feel tired and out of sorts and wanting to be anywhere but where I am.
I’m feeling grumpy and weepy and sleepy.

Is it “National Be Rude to People on the Phone Day” and nobody told me?

Why do people want to be so discourteous to their fellow man?

What did I ever do to you?

What is wrong with people?

I’ll just say it. If you’re running a business in a country in which the predominate language is English why can’t you hire someone to man the phone who actually knows that language, por favor and xie xie?

And why can’t my fellow employees try to help out in keeping our communal places clean?
Make a fresh pot of coffee?
Throw away your trash in the proper place?
Don’t just stand there oblivious to the fact that anyone else is around you.

My low back is aching.
I think it’s due to the arthritis I have there and the cold weather.
It’s making me feel old.
It’s supposed to get down to low teens tonight.

I’ve not even told you that..
This weekend I am going to Phoenix..
To take racing lessons from Danica Patrick
Because I just can’t get myself excited about it.
And that’s stupid.

And I’ve been dealing with some anxiety.

And I’m trying to give up caffeine to better control my anxiety.
And I’m giving in and having some coffee.
Because I’m drowsy.
And I love coffee.
And I just burnt my lip on my coffee.

I don’t really feel like knitting today.
I need to finish this scarf for Danica.
Because when else am I going to have this opportunity?
Sure, I could throw it at her during the Indy 500 Festival parade.
I could hand it to her at a drivers’ autograph session.
But when else will I have this opportunity?

I need something.
I need something.

The other night Johnny G. said to me, “God took care of Joseph.”
And I replied, “Yeah, but he was in the well first.”
And he said, “No, that’s Jonah.”
And I said, “I said, ‘well’ not “whale”.”
And we laughed.
I need to laugh!

I need to laugh!!

I NEED TO LAUGH!

Wanna hear a joke?
This is my favorite Nashville joke.

Q. How do you get a songwriter off your front porch?
A. Pay for your pizza.

And this just may be my all time favorite joke. Ever.

A pastor calls the children down to the front of the church for the children’s sermon.
He greets the children and then tells them he’s going to describe something to them and he wants them to guess what it is.
“It’s brown and furry.”
No one answers.
“It’s brown and has a bushy tail and lives in trees.”
Blank stares.
“It’s brown and furry, has a bushy tail, and stores nuts for the winter.”
The children sit in silence.
The pastor grows a little uncomfortable with the stillness of his audience.
“Okay, it’s brown. And it’s furry. It has a bushy tail. It stores nuts for the winter. And it goes like this…”
He raises his hands beneath this chin, wrists bent, fingers pointing down. He sticks out his front teeth over his bottom lip and makes a clicking sucking sound.
Finally one brave little girl raises her hand and says,
“It sounds like a squirrel. But I’ll say Jesus.”

See, I feel better already.

3 comments:

Jeff Iannucci said...

Wow. Wow. Wow. You actually won that contest! And you're making Danica a scarf! These things don't happen in reality.

I hope your back holds up for this. Here's a joke to make you feel better or feel nauseous: a guy walks into a bar, says "Ow!"

Jennifer Coomer said...

Yes Jeff, I really did win that contest! I am not yet sure if I'm actually going to drive the car or not. I signed up for the contest before I had my back surgery. And then I forgot all about it. So when I got the certified letter in the mail I planned to call them and turn it down. I explained about my back surgery. There were 15 winners total and I am the only female. I was told that I could still come and participate in the events and could maybe just not drive the car. So…I’m going to see how I feel and see what things are like before I make a decision about the car. I’m just worried that I’ll get stuck in it and won’t be able to get out!

Jeff Iannucci said...

You gotta do what's best for you, but one man's opinion is you should go. Even if you can't actually drive the car it sounds like a really unique experience.

Plus, if nothing else the weather here in AZ is cloudy with highs in the 70s. This is the time of year to visit.