Maybe your friends won't tell you....

Dear Britney,
I know that you use to have, like, really amazing abs and you did something like 1,000 crunches a day. And you worked hard for those abs and that booty. I saw you with your personal trainer on EntertainmentAccessEdition a few years ago talking about your work regimen and, for once, you really impressed me...coz you weren’t singing. Then you met Kevin and you had your Nuevo Riche White Trash Wedding. And, Britney, you reminded us just like Courtney Love and Anna Nicole Smith that you can dress up White Trash in sparkly gowns and shiny lip gloss and bling and glittery sling backs. But eventually the layers peal to expose the White Trash underneath. Then, Brit, you had Sean Preston (“Oh my gosh ya’ll I love bein’ a mom! It’s like awesome”) and I kind of wonder if that messed with your self perception. Or if you’re too consumed with little Sean Preston to glance in a mirror or your reflection in a window. Basically, I don’t feel like you need to do 1,000 crunches a day to have value in this life. I really don’t. But Britney...you don’t do 1,000 crunches/day anymore. And, really, that is okay. It’s okay. It is absolutely fine and you should be spending time with Sean Preston (as long as he’s in a car seat) as much as you possibly can. But sweetie...no showie the belly...I know keeping yourself covered might be a new concept and everything. But really...a shirt that would come over the waistband of your pants would not kill you. And there is a lot to be said for foundation garments.