oh no. she's slowing down in the back-stretch.

So, if you were keeping score you know I was scheduled to be hanging out with Danica over the last several days. Only, I didn’t go. When I received the certified letter in the mail that informed me that I was a winner of the Peak Antifreeze “Racing Lessons with Danica Patrick” Sweepstakes I barely remembered entering. That’s because I did so before I had back surgery and that period of my life is kind of a blur. I called to decline my winnings due to my back surgery. But I was invited to come and maybe not drive the car. I said yes. Well, I never felt right about it. I never felt excited. I was anxious and worried and dreaded the flight to Phoenix and all the sitting in a cramped space of airplane. Here I had the opportunity to go learn how to drive an Indy Car with Danica Patrick and see a city I have never been to and I could not get excited about it. Truth is, I had been worrying about my back since the moment I agreed to attend. Not to mention that I have been required to work this over-time project and I am feeing burnt-out and exhausted. Forget burning the candle a both ends, I feel like the wick is nearly gone. I have learned something about myself in the last several years. I am only good with doing one big thing at a time.

Last week I came to the realization that I was not going on this trip because I wanted to go, but because I felt obligated. On Friday I was feeling so worn out and overwhelmed that I almost found myself in tears more than once. Over lunch with LYLASarah I was expressing my dread. And Sarah, being the woman of wisdom she is, helped me get new perspective. But I needed a little more confirmation. I called on the big guns. Dear Ol’ Mom (Sorry Mom, I’m not calling you old. It’s just an expression. I know you have a big birthday, I won’t say which, coming up and you’re feeling a little sensitive.) My mom helped me make my decision once and for all. I got in touch with my contact for this trip to let them know I would not be attending. They were very gracious and nice. And not once have I regretted not being there. Especially on Monday when I took a vacation day and I was able to sleep in a little later than usual. That morning, when I awoke cozy in my bed and realized that if I were in Phoenix I would have been up for hours and in a van on my way to the track, I was positive that I had made the right decision. Another time, Danica. By-the-way, I’m keeping your scarf.