the mysterious order of the eastern star

I, personally, have never understood the appeal of organizations like the Free Masons and the Eastern Star. To be honest I’m a little creeped out by them. However, I have several elder family members who were or are part of these organizations. Both my grandfathers were Masons. My Papaw and Grandma along with her sister, Myra, were devoted members of the Eastern Star.

When I was a child I visited my grandma on her farm in Radcliff, KY regularly. I loved running errands with Grandma. We’d go to Virginia’s Beauty Salon in Vine Grove. We’d go to weekly prayer meetings at Stovall United Methodist. We’d deliver various items to shut-ins or pick up her friends who could no longer drive. Grandma and Aunt Myra were members of the auxiliary at the Hardin Co. Memorial Hospital. They would sit at the information desks and greet visitors and direct them to patients’ rooms. I loved those days because Grandma would buy me a piece of peanut-butter fudge from the hospital gift shop.

Sometimes my visits coincided with Eastern Star night. Grandma would go to her meetings and take me a long to the Eastern Star “lodge” (an upstairs floor of a downtown building) in nearby Vine Grove. Of course I was not privy to what went on inside the meetings. Grandma would volunteer to act as the evening’s “Sgt-at-Arms” and guard the door. I remember her standing at the door, raising her right hand, and taking an oath to guard the secrets and rituals and some other hoo-hah of the Eastern Star. Then we’d sit on a vinyl sofa with metal legs (it was the 70’s/early 80’s) outside the meeting hall. Now I know that Grandma would volunteer to be the Sgt-at-Arms because she didn’t trust me to sit on the vinyl sofa by myself. At the time I kind of didn’t understand why we’d even go to the meetings if she wasn’t even going to GO to the meetings but was going to guard the door instead. But then we’d go into a narrow room with too many tables and chairs to move around comfortably for refreshments. Being a chubby kid I guess I could be bought with some cookies and punch.

Years later, while on vacation, my mom and I were discussing the family’s involvement in the Eastern Star. Aunt Myra was a sponsor of the girl’s division called Rainbow Girls. Somehow Mom escaped membership to the Rainbow Girls. She said she never had a desire to be part of it. Until that conversation Mom didn’t know that about my experiences of sitting outside the hall at the Eastern Star lodge wondering what in the stars was going on in that room. Seems Mom had to do the same thing when she was a girl. I suppose Grandma didn’t trust her to sit alone either. This shared experience brought on much laughter. What were those people doing marching around in with their long gowns swish-swishing around?

My Papaw passed away in 1976 and my dear Grandma in 1998. Aunt Myra now lives in a nursing home that sits on what was once my Papaw’s farm right next to her house. She has Alzheimer’s and can’t tell her own stories with much ease. But a newspaper man came to visit her and some friends recently to find out more about their participation in the Eastern Star. My mom’s sister, Wilma, spoke for Aunt Myra. Considering some of the childhood “trauma” caused by the Eastern Star I never expected to get tears in my eyes when I read the story. But I did. Even though I didn’t understand the appeal as a child and I don’t understand it now it meant something to my grandparents and my aunt. And I’ll never forget sitting on the vinyl sofa with my Grandma, who I miss very much.

Long-lived Stars still shining
3 women combined represent 175 years of service to the Order of the Eastern Star

By BRIAN T. KEHL
The Hardin Co. News-Enterprise

RADCLIFF — Margaret Nelson, Myra Stone and Della Dexheimer are lessons in longevity.
Sitting quietly in the sun-drenched foyer of North Hardin Health and Rehabilitation, the three women are older, composed, cheerful and proper.

They also are members of The Order of The Eastern Star and have been for a combined total of 175 years. Stone has seniority, as a member for 61 years. Close on her heels, Dexheimer has been a member for 58 years and Nelson for 56.

The property where the home sits used to belong to Stone’s family, and goats once wandered from Stone’s house across the street onto the grounds. Nelson said Stone feels “right at home here,” as she should. Literally.

Stone and Dexheimer do not talk much, instead allowing Nelson, 94, to be their spokeswoman. The three are not very mobile anymore, but still are members of the organization. Nelson gets updates from people, and members of the order visit her. There also is correspondence, and Nelson just contributed.

The Order of the Eastern Star is a counterpart organization to the Masons. It’s as mysterious as the Masons, but according to members at least, it’s not because they have anything to hide.
“We always had our password,” Nelson said. “It wasn’t that we would be ashamed of anything we did, we do good works. It’s not for our glory.”

Nelson said the organization, which is mostly women, is about service and helping the community.

She joined in 1950 because her husband was a Mason. Originally from Missouri, her family moved to Kentucky in 1927, and she met James, her husband who was from Vine Grove, at the University of Kentucky when they were students. He was the Nelson from Nelson-Edelen-Bennett Funeral Homes and passed away in 1979.

Through the years, she and the other members have done volunteer work throughout the community, including for the Red Cross, the Blood Mobile and other programs. Nelson also volunteered at the hospital.

Nelson never saw Vine Grove until she was married, and she joined the order a year or so later. She said it always was enjoyable and a good way to meet people.

“It was one way to get to know the people and participate in what’s going on,” she said. “It’s the things they stand for, the things they did, like bake sales to raise money. It was good, clean fun, with Christmas parties, sales, our meetings.”

When asked what her favorite part of membership was, Nelson said, “You have to put it all together to make it a meaningful program.”

One thing that stood out, though, was when she originally joined the club.
“When you’re inducted, that’s impressive because it’s all new,” she said. “It’s friendly formal, not cold.”

Jack Gearheard, a friend of Dexheimer’s for more than 20 years, said she enjoyed her membership, as well. Dexheimer played the organ and piano, and would play it for different clubs and meetings around the area. He said she was a very kind person “who would do anything for you.” He said she was especially proud of the pin she received for her 50 years of membership.

Stone was secretary for the organization for a total of 37 years. Her niece, Wilma Owens, said Stone, who is childless, treated her like a daughter.

“She was very loving,” Owens said. “A little on the quiet side, but very active.”

Owens said while the order never took the place of her church, “It was just very special to her. If you’re a long-term member it’s just important to you. It’s just something she felt committed to. This was very important to her. She made a lot of friends.”

Even now, as they are older, the women still make favorable impressions.

“They’re wonderful ladies,” said Brenda Coffee, who works with admissions and marketing at North Hardin Health and Rehabilitation. “They have great smiles, great families. They’re very active. Margaret (Nelson) kind of watches out for the other residents.”

All the ladies enjoyed their membership, which explains how each stayed in the organization for more than half a century. And certainly the order enjoyed them, too.

“They still visit her (Stone) and that says a lot to me,” Owens said. “There are people that admire her and care about her. They still go to see her.” And the others, as well.