nosey

I have something really stupid to tell you and here it is. I woke up with morning and, unlike other mornings, my first thought was not “Oh no! Not the morning! Not the work! Not the time to get up! No! No! No!” Instead it was, “Holy crap! What is wrong with my nose?” Somehow in my sleep my nose ring wriggled half way out of its little hole and my nose felt very swollen. I really felt like I when I looked in the mirror I’d see W.C. Fields’ nose attached to my face. It looks a little swollen. But not like I’ve been going to sleep sucking on a bottle of gin every night.

Now I’m sure most people don’t know how these “nostril screws” work. So here is a picture:
It’s not like an earring with a back. It curves around and rests against the outside of your nostril. Most time mine is really comfortable and I forget it’s even there...granted I’ve had my nose pierced for years...I don’t know how many times I’ve been touching my nose and been like, “what the heck is on my nose!?! Oh yeah...” Because of my allergies and the fact that I forget that it’s there I sometimes sleep without nose jewelry...I have rubbed my itching nose and scratched the inside of my nostril in a half-awake state. But each time I take the ring out of my nose I risk losing it. Which I have done and I’ve bought replacements. And you have to get them fitted and then tip the body piecer...and listen to the loud “acid rock” that a lot of such establishments enjoy while someone is waving sharp objects around your face. So I tend to keep it in. There was that one morning about a year ago that I woke up and it was missing and I know I went to sleep with it in. I would not be the least bit surprised if I somehow ingested it. Back to this morning....my nose ring wriggled half way out and now my nose is so sore that I’d like to cut it off to spite my...to spite my....to spite...to...well....something.