Thursday, August 23, 2007

just like every night has its dawn

A few Fridays ago I went to sleep with plans of having a very productive weekend. I hoped to get up early Saturday morning and get a shower right away and sit down and eat a good breakfast. Then I was going to pull most of my clothes out of my closet and do a sort of inventory to see what clothes I have and what I might need and what clothes I could donate to Mountain Mission. Then I was going to take Derby to the dog park and give him a bath when we returned home. I was also going to read, knit, and paint.

I got pretty much none of that done.

Well, I did get a few rows of knitting in on the perpetual dog bed and Derby did get a bath. But for the most part I lost my motivation. I woke-up earlier than necessary for a Saturday. I tried to go back to sleep, even for just 30 minutes, but I never could. It was soggy outside and we never made it to the dog park. I just stayed in something of a downhearted mood for most of that weekend.

It was that weekend that I discovered a marathon of VH1’s “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels”.

A lesser known fact about me: I went through a short “heavy metal”/80’s hair band period in my early teens. Poison, Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, Cinderella, Ratt … Mtv’s Headbangers Ball. Yeah. It’s true. I had a thing for Nikki Sixx (if you don’t tell anyone I’ll admit that I still think he’s hot). Then I discovered U2 and burned my acid washed denim jacket and stayed up late to watch 120 Minutes instead. Well, let me back-up. I was raised by reasonable people living on a pastor’s salary and I was never allowed to burn any of my clothes. Even though setting torch to an article of clothing sounds very dramatic, what actually happened was … I pinned a U2 button, purchased at the mall record store, to that totally rad acid washed denim jacket. Soon REM and The Cure buttons would join the cause.

There are currently several “interesting” “dating” “reality” shows airing on VH1. And several of them are messing with some of my middle school daydreams. It’s as if they found a box in an attic labeled “Jennifer’s Bop, 16, and Tiger Beat magazines 1985-1987” and based their summer programming upon its contents.

First, we have “Rock of Love”; which maybe should be called: Strippers, Showgirls, Alcoholics, and a Nice Girl Try to Date/Get in the Pants of Bret Michaels.

On the one hand I’m impressed that Bret still has it going on in the looks department. On the other, at the age of 44, he’s still all about the groupie-like attention. One might say he, “don’t need nothin’ but a good time”.

Then there is Scott Baio is 45 and Single, in which we learn that another teen heartthrob of our youth is basically a womanizing jerk who has never been able to make a commitment to a woman. Back in the day I wanted Charles in charge of me. Now I learn, through Nicole Eggert, that Scott/Chacie/Charles would sit around on the Charles in Charge set perusing Playboy magazine “like it was a Sears Catalog”. Then playmates would magically show-up on set. This would have been while Nicole and her co-star/TV sister, Josie Davis, were in their early teens. I’m not saying we can totally blame Scott Baio for Nicole Eggert’s breast implants … but … well … makes you wonder. At least just a little.

In a departure from 80’s Star CelebReality there’s “The Pick-up Artists” with a dude who calls himself “Mystery”. I’m not kidding. Mystery takes eight “socially awkward” guys and works to transform them into “Master Pick-Up Artists” using “The Mystery Method”. Okay, first off, if I were a guy who was became paralyzed with anxiety whenever I got around a woman and this guy walked in wearing that hat I would have asked for a refund.

I’m not even going to touch A&E’s “The Two Coreys” right now. But boy did I love the movie Lucas. And The Lost Boys? Best last line of a movie. Ever.

I wonder what Ralph Macchio is up to these days? Could “The Karate Kid is My Gym Teacher” be far behind?

Jennifer Coomer


John said...

Excellent post! I want to see "The Pick-up Artists" now. Keep up the great writing!

Rebecca said...

yeah, i was sucked into that two coreys show the first time it aired, but haven't seen it since. i mostly feel sorry for all these boys who can't grow up.

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